Keep Smiling, Keep Shining, Knowing You Can Always Count On Me

May 9, 1997


That's the day my father died.

It's a strange thing for me to be sitting here, so seemingly normal, 11 years later.

It's been so terribly difficult. There have been so many hard, dark days. Yet, today I stood on my deck and wondered about the beauty of the clouds. I stood and thought about who I am. Who I want to be. Who would make my father proud.

It's then that it hit me. He would be proud of all that I am. All that I could be. And I see him in everything around my life.

Just as soon as I start to get sad, a whiff of honeysuckle blows across my face. Just as soon as I start to think that things could be so different, a breeze russels the leaves in the background. Just as soon as I think I'm alone, the crickets start blazing with song.

I'm not alone. He's with me every day. It's a sad day for me. It's a sad week for me. But, at the end of the day, at the end of the week, what I have are memories of a proud father.

A father who loved me for me. A father who never expected more than who I could be, yet held those expectations so high that I could reach beyond the stars.

Dad, tonight is for you. You were a lovely man. I loved you dearly. I still love you dearly. One day we will meet again. And, when we do, we will laugh at my life. We will laugh at these days. We will enjoy the smell of honeysuckle together.

I miss you. I love you. And I will do all I can to continue to make you proud. Just keep smiling down upon me.

L.