Anyhow, I Love You

I spent the past weekend on a lake with Dave. We sat on the porch, basked in the sun, ate bar-b-que, basked some more, grilled chicken, watched a movie and listened to the neighbors laugh and carry on about their neighbors.

It was a delightfully easy weekend.

But, for some reason each moment we shared together caused me to think about gay and lesbian couples across this country. We didn't do a single thing this weekend that differentiated us from those same couples. And, nothing those couples did affected our relationship.

With each small moment that Dave and I sometimes take for granted I thought about couples so much like us, but yet, so different. Couples who can't choose to marry, simply because the state won't allow them to do so.

Dave and I aren't married. Not because I don't want to marry him or because he doesn't want to marry me, but because we have a nice little life squared out here on our 1 acre lot, and marriage, for us, doesn't change that life.

If Dave asked me to marry him tomorrow would I say "yes?" Of course I would. I love him. And I will love him unconditionally until the day I die. But because marriage is an option for us, we don't necessary have to choose it.

Ring on my finger or not, we'll be together. Just as long as we can both hold out. Maybe that's death. Maybe it's not. But we'll be right here beside one another. Always. It's not so simple for so many of our friends.

Can you imagine not having the choice between simply living together, which while not recogized by law or church is still a bit like being married, and actual marriage?

Dave and I can choose, at any moment of the day, to drive to the courthouse, get a marriage license, get a judge and make this thing "official." It's that simple. It's really that simple.

But for so many people in this world it's not that simple. They don't have the opportunity to have what Dave and I can have at a moment's notice. It requires a freaking State Supreme Court decision.

Really? Love has to be decided by a State Supreme Court? Does that really make sense to anyone who has ever been in love?

I'll top this off with this question: Has any love you've ever experienced been affected by the love of gay men and lesbian women?

You may have some serious religious problems with it--problems with which I happen to disagree--but has your love, and I mean your love really been affected?

If so, then I'd say gay and lesbian marriage isn't the first of your problems.

L.