For some reason, the holidays keep creeping up on me. It seems they come faster and faster every year. The worst part is that I have a harder and harder time deciding what to do.
Last year we spent Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas with D.'s. Of course, this year my plan was to spend Thanksgiving with D.'s family and Christmas with mine. You know, the ole alternate year thing that every new family works out.
But, Thanksgiving rolled around much more quickly than I anticipated. Due to a severe lack of planning, a family illness, and my distaste for another week of driving across three states, we spent it here, which meant that Christmas would be spent, once again, with D.'s family.
They're fantastic people, and if D. turns out to be anything like his father I will be one lucky woman. I've never seen a more devoted man. Forty-six years of marriage and the man steps and fetches like he's getting laid every night. Yet, both being in the late 60's, and his wife being in poor health, I'm sure he's not. It's just full out, straight as an arrow, love. It's a lovely reminder that things really can work out in the long haul.
As much as I enjoy spending time with D.'s family I, of course, miss my own at Christmas. My family hugs a lot, laughs a lot, drinks a lot, and over all ends up pissed at and then loving one another again--all in a day. D.'s family does on Christmas exactly what they'd do any other day of the week with the exception of a bigger meal and a couple of gifts.
During the six-hour drive home today D. and I had a spectacular brainstorm.
We don't have children. We don't have any plans to have children. We're not a religious people, so we don't have to find a church for Christmas mass.
And, if for some reason, the children plan changes, we could still have our own little family tradition...
Pick a place and that's where we'll be at Christmas.
Just us. No traveling from family home to family home. Send the gifts via Fed Ex and call it a holiday.
I'm thinking Cape Cod where we bundle up each morning for a walk along the beach. Or maybe the mountains where we sit inside, drink coffee and read long novels. Or maybe Chicoteague, MD, our favorite hideout when we lived in DC. Or maybe we'll travel abroad and see some place new and exciting.
Most of all, where ever it is, it will be us. The two of us. Enjoying one another. Sure, we have each other every night of the year, but this will be our own little gift to each other.
Time away from everything. No work. No family obligations. No distractions. Just us. Enjoying all those little things we love about each other that get caught up in the day to day.
I can't think of a better gift to give one another. It's a simple gift.
The gift of actually enjoying the holiday.
Together.
L.
Friday, December 26, 2008
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2 comments:
I'm so glad D understands the importance of going away to spend time together. I'm working on making J "get it," but he thinks if I want to hang out with him and do nothing, we should just stay home. Home, where something always needs to be cleaned or put away or swept or washed or mailed. You'd think after nearly two years of marriage, J would realize he married a kook who literally does not know how to sit still unless she is far from all the responsibilities of home.
Oh, boy, just take him to D.'s parent's house for the holidays and that'll change his mind.
It's a holiday, i.e. time away from obligations. Not a familial requirement.
At least, that's MY new mantra.
Turner says you guys are doing great. So glad to hear it! Let's not be strangers just because she's living out of the country. I really am cool. Just a bit less so without her.
L.
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