The Long Road

A friend of mine passed along a blog of a college acquaintance. The blog writer's father died a year ago, and it brought back so many feelings. My heart bled for her. I've been there. I know that feeling, and I wish I could take the pain off her heart.

While reading it, I realized how far I've come since my own father's death. This May marks the 11th anniversary of his death. My life and mindset 10 years ago is so dramatically different from my life and mindset now. At the time I was in college, sad, and drinking away my grief. Ten years later, I've put my college years behind me. I've lived five years in DC. I've had four fun, if exhausting, jobs. I've moved back to this great Natural State with a boyfriend who, for reasons passing understanding, is still with me after six years.

If someone had told me in 1998 that I'd be where I am today, I would have laughed out loud. But I am. Now, when I think of Dad, I fondly recall our time together. I smile at the thought of how proud he must be of me today. And, I constantly realize that I've held onto and grown in the best attributes he gave me while tossing aside those that were less than perfect.

It's been a long road. There are good days and there are bad, but it's so reassuring to know that the good days far out number the bad, and the bad days aren't as bad as they once were.

I hope that college acquaintance finds this light at the end of her long dark road. And I'll pray that one day she will smile as broadly at the thought of her father's pride as I do.

L.